


La Vie en Rose

by lovelyrosesandthings



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1950s, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13811907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyrosesandthings/pseuds/lovelyrosesandthings
Summary: Jack is a professor at Samwell University teaching summer classes and newly married to Camilla. It's lucky that they have each other.It's not easy being gay in 1952.





	1. Prologue

**April 14, 1952**

Jen rubs Camilla’s back as she leans over the porcelain of the toilet. Camilla cries out as tears stream down her cheeks, creating black rivulets that stains her shirt as she sobs. Camilla retches again and Jen holds her hair back. 

She reaches for the damp washcloth and swipes it across her face. Camilla leans back, sniffling. Jen sighs looking down at her watch. Her children will be coming home from visiting their father. 

It’s silent, just Camilla leaning against her, trying to calm down. Her hair is sweaty and she smells like vomit and her mascara is running down her face.

Jen loves her.

Camilla sighs into her neck, “I have to tell him. It’s going to kill me if I don’t.”

Jen looks down at her, surprised, “Tell him you’re pregnant? Or tell him about us?”

Camilla sighs again, and Jen can tell she’s made up her mind.

“Both.”

It starts to rain.

\--

Jack loves the rain.

Camilla never understood it, she much preferred the sun on her skin. But she can appreciate the refreshing cool of it. She can see Jack sitting on the covered patio, smoking a tobacco pipe and reading Hitler: A Study in Tyranny. She loves him, she really does. She loves the way that he's excited about history and he gets so excited about hockey and she loves to go to his pick up games. Even when he loses his glasses when they're on top of his head. 

But.

She can't love him the way a wife should love her husband. It’s killing her to keep herself a secret. In more ways than one. For Camilla, it best to be honest. Even if it would mean divorce. It’s not fair to Jack. But she can’t run. Well, at least not yet. She has her bags packed and ready to go with Jen. She brings her hand up to her abdomen absentmindedly. 

They got married not even a month and a half ago and here she was, pregnant already.

"Jack, honey?"

Jack turned around at her voice, glasses low on his nose. He smiles, and closes his book.

"Camilla, I'm surprised to see you out here, you hate the rain."  
She laughs weakly, tears building, "Oh, Jack."

Jack's demeanor changes from delight to concern, rushing up to Camilla to hug her to his chest.

"Please, tell me what's wrong, Camilla."

She sobs harder at his plea, getting makeup and tears on his shirt. The rain starts coming down in sheets but they don’t move. Thunder claps and Jack counts out loud until thunder claps again. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Another shattering boom rattles them. The counting was helping her come down but they still don’t move. Jack doesn't press any harder, waiting for her to calm down. After what feels like half an hour, it's silent, except for the pattering against the roof of their home.  
She steps away from his warm embrace, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief Jack hands to her. 

Camilla stands up tall, and asks, "Which would you like first, the good news or the bad news?"

Jack thinks for a moment and answers, "Bad news, please."

She sighs, sitting down at the patio table and motioning for Jack to sit down too. She fiddles with the handkerchief, twisting it and unfurling it, turning her words around in her head. Camilla then looks Jack in eyes.

"I'm a homosexual, Jack. A lesbian.”

Jack's stunned silence urges her on.

"I've been seeing someone, Jennifer from across the street."

At the admission, Jack's eyes get wide, turning away from her.

"O-oh my God. Camilla, I-- my God."

Tears form again in her eyes and she bows her head as she whispers, "I'm so sorry, Jack."

The gully washer lightens up, sheets of rain becoming a sprinkle. Children’s laughter fills the air as they continue their game in the street. 

And then Jack starts laughing. It begins as a giggle and then turns somewhat manic. He stands up quickly, kneeling in front of her and gathering her hands in his.

Camilla has no idea how to react. She just revealed her worst sin, and Jack is laughing about it.

“I admit to-- to adultery and being a homosexual and you’re over here acting like Charlie Chaplin told you the greatest joke of all time!”

He removes his glasses to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand, “Camilla we were made for each other,” he looks right at her, eyes full of mirth, “Here we are, hiding from each other for all these years. Camilla, I’m a homosexual too.”

Camilla mouth gapes, not expecting this outcome. After a beat, the floodgate opened, and both Camilla and Jack meet each other for a much needed embrace. 

Jack extracts himself from the hug, looks at her and smiles. A genuine and glowing smile and twinkle in his eye.

“So, what was the good news?”

Camilla starts, looking away a blush crawling up her neck to her ears. She completely forgot about the good news.

“Well,” she lays hand on her stomach, “I’m pregnant.”


	2. Eric

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh this is kinda my baby rn i've been writing this on and off for months! 
> 
> tumblrs: zimbunny and ememelyrose! 
> 
> Title of the fic is name after the song La Vie en Rose by Edith Piaf.
> 
> and shout out to sam and mel for editing i owe them my life
> 
> Expect the updates to be kinda all over the place. But I am keen on finishing it!
> 
> Edit:   
> I fixed some errors.

**March 10, 1952**

Spring was setting in fully now. The flora around campus are blooming again and the grass is getting greener. It’s Monday and usually Monday’s are his earlier days but it was a research day for his students.

So, it behooved him to use that rare time off to take a stroll around campus. 

He made it to the edge of campus when he realized there’s a new bakery right next to the print shop. Jack was never one for baked goods, except for the rolls that Camilla made for special occasions. But. It was a good morning. He felt good, like the spring air is breathing new life into him. A little something sweet would be the proverbial cherry on top.

He walks in, a bell ringing to alert his presence. The smell of baking pastries, coffee, and fruit filling hits his nose and he breathes it in deep. At the counter a man is counting change for a woman with graying hair wrapped in a bun and tortoiseshell cat eye glasses. She’s holding a white cake box with a bright pink bow tying it up. 

“Do you need help carrying out your pie, ma’am?” the baker asks with southern twang, surprising Jack.

“Oh no, dear! My son is waiting in the car. Thank you very much!” and with that, the old woman walks away with her pie.

That’s when Jack catches the baker’s eye and nerves bloom in his stomach. His eyes are a deep brown and crinkled in a smile. His blonde hair had bits of caked on flour and and his apron red striped and was lovingly stained with various fillings and batters. On the front pocket was embroidered the shop’s name: _Bittle’s Bakery and Coffee Shop_ with a name tag with Eric. But Jack keeps his head as he walks up to the counter. In the time between him walking up to the counter trying to come up with something witty to say to impress the baker.

“Good morning, sir! What can I getcha?”

“Uh,” a quick glance at the pastry case, “croissant and a coffee? Please?” well, the wit went out the window. And his sweet tooth too.

The baker, Eric, smiles, reaching for the croissant to put into a small paper bag.  
“The coffee will be right out!”

Jack nods as Eric putters around, pouring black coffee into a white ceramic mug. He turns around and sets the mug and croissant on the counter punching in the price on the register.

Jack gathers up the courage to ask, “So, who is ‘Bittle’? That’s not a name I see everyday.”

Eric hums and responds with, “Well, it’s a family name sir! And it happens to be mine. I own this bakery,” he looks down to punch in the numbers in the register, “That’ll be fifty cents!”

Jack reaches into his pocket and pulls out two quarters and drops them into Eric’s hand, lightly brushing his palm. Jack’s heart skips a beat as it happens and he accidentally catches Eric’s eye again. He just smiles and thanks him, like he’s supposed to with customers. And with that Jack thanks him as well and goes to sit down at a table.

Trying to forget his awkwardness, he pulls out the his book and starts reading. Out of the corner of his eye he watches Eric as he goes back to kneading some bread. 

Eric, Eric, Eric.

Jack knows he can’t act on this. But he can yearn from afar. What Camilla doesn’t know can’t hurt her. He’s a little sad, but he isn’t a cheat. He’ll be the best husband he can be for Camilla. She deserves it.

He sighs into his coffee and continues to read.

**March 14th, 1952**

Camilla has been acting weird. She’s been acting aloof and never home, headed off to help at the library early most mornings and hours after he gets home from the university. But he’s glad that she has something to do. Camilla has never been a housewife and never will be. She’d much rather be doing something than cleaning, doing laundry, and making the house orderly for when Jack gets home.

Jack always thought that it was weird that people expect Camilla to be doing all of that. Plus he likes doing laundry with Camilla, it gives them a chance to talk and doing something repetitive calms his mind. 

He continues his trek toward the Bittle’s Bakery and Coffee Shop, thinking about the laundry they have to do this weekend.

**April 23, 1952**

It’s been awhile since he’d been to Bittle’s. Since the announcement of the baby and other confessions Jack and Camilla’s friendship has been renewed with vigor. And Jen moved in too. It was his idea in the first place. If he was being honest with himself, he just didn’t want to be alone and he knew that if Jen and Camilla moved in together with Jen’s kids, they were inviting so much scrutiny and it made Jack anxious.

Camilla is pregnant now. Having two people to help you out is better than just one (him) right? Plus, he enjoys getting to know Jen’s children. They’re so full of life and so curious they make their home much more full exciting.

Now, he doesn’t feel so guilty for having wandering eyes. Well, eyes for Eric. Who he hasn’t in so long. It feels like there’s an Eric shaped hole in his chest.

Jack’s missed Eric’s sunny smile and perpetual flour covered hair. Southern drawl and hospitality.

He walks in, the scent of fresh baked bread hitting his nose. The sound of Eric’s greeting fills him with warmth and butterflies. Eric even mentions how little they’ve seen Jack. Which flatters Jack but he can't be honest here. He just shrugs and replies with a vague work excuse.

Jack even mentions his class in an effort to converse beyond the weather today. Eric even calls him “Professor”.

Jack wills his blush to at least stay under the collar of his work shirt. That really shouldn’t affect him as much as it does.

**June 9th, 1952**

Another four hour class done, Jack was ready to get out and just grade as many papers as possible. Jack hated summer classes but. It put bread on the table.

Plus, he liked Bittle’s around this time, it was quiet and he could focus for hours there. It was past the insane lunch rush but still lunch time. 

The bell above the glass door tinkled softly as Jack enters the bakery, the scent of fruit pies and coffee instantly improving his mood. He makes a beeline for the display case, pretending to peruse his options despite getting the same thing everyday.  
Eric rolls up to the counter, deep brown eyes crinkled in a smile and wiping his hands off on his apron. 

Eric with his twang greeted him, “Good morning, Mr. Zimmermann! Your usual today?”

Jack chuckled, scratching his neck in slight embarrassment that Eric actually remembers his usual.

“Yes, please. How are you doing today, Mr. Bittle?”

Eric packs up Jack’s croissant into a paper bag and sneaks in an extra too quick for Jack to notice. 

“I’m just swell, I just got in a brand new mixer! It has a lot more speed options than the ones I have now. But I, still gotta learn how to use the thing though.” 

Eric hands him the bag and Jack’s fingers brush his, an electric current running through him. He opens the bag and blinks a moment, confused.

“You gave me an extra, I only need the one.”

“Oh, Mr. Zimmermann, that one’s on the house!” Eric leans forward, elbows resting on the counter as if it was a secret and faux whispers, “You’re my favorite customer.” 

Their hands graze again as Jack gives him 50 cents extra as a tip.

It’s not enough.

He wants to take Eric by the hand and hold him close and kiss him silly and tell him how beautiful he is.

He doesn’t.


	3. Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so because up until now this fic has already been written i was able to update faster. so now updates may take a bit longer. Sorry about that!

**June 17th, 1952**

It’s been a little over a week since he’s been to Bittle’s, which is far too long.

Jack knows the reason why he hasn’t been back. He knows that these feelings that have simmering inside him are so much more than the little crush before. The butterflies and the sweating. The absolutely awful and awkward conversations he initiate Camilla. says he’s just naturally awkward. 

But also, the way Eric makes him feel is like the way the rain first hits his skin. 

When the first skate hits the fresh ice in the winter.

If he had any doubts about himself, there’s no doubt now that he’s a homosexual. Gay. He’s heard whispers of the term ‘gay’ and he likes that much better; it sounds like he has a disease when people say homosexual. Which some people think is true. So, he supposes, it would make sense people think he’s sick. Sometimes, he thinks that about himself, but when he looks at his wife with Jen and he sees how in love they are. Well. How is that sick?

But he wants so much to have what Camilla and Jen have. He wants to love another person, a man, and share his life with him.

And he wants more than anything to share that with Eric Bittle.

Courage wells up inside of him and walks in the door of the bakery, and spots Eric immediately.

He’s kneading bread, flour up to his elbows and his brow creased in concentration.

Jack’s heart warms with fondness, fingers twitching with the desire to smooth out his frown.

His heart beats double time as he greets Eric, “Good morning, Mr. Bittle.”

Eric stutters, looking up from his work. He grins, wiping his hands on his apron and goes up to the counter.

“Good morning, Mr. Zimmermann! It’s been awhile, is everything alright?”

Jack nods and says, “I just really needed my croissant fix.”

Eric nods, smiling to himself as he goes to grab a croissant with some extra treats: blueberry mini muffins. Three of them.

Before Jack can protest, Eric says, “Before you say anything, I made these special. For you.”

Guilt and softer feelings spread through him as it dawns on him that he hadn’t seen Eric in over a week and he made him blueberry muffins. He must have been expecting him everyday. And everyday fresh muffins. 

Jack takes the bag that Mr. Bittle hands him and in return he gives him a dollar and a business card.

“Mr. Bittle, please call me,” Jack feeling a little desperate, “For anything.”

Mr. Bittle nods, a blush blooming high on his cheeks.

Jack leaves, blushing too.

\--

Later that day, the Zimmermann-Grayson household receives a phone call. Camilla almost answers it, but Jack beats her to it. 

She shrugs and goes back to leaning on Jennifer while reading Vogue. Glen and Anne, Jen’s kids, are playing on the floor with various blocks and dolls.

“Hello, this is Jack Zimmermann.”

“Oh- uh, hi! It’s Eric Bittle from Bittle’s Bakery. You gave me your number this morning and, well, here am I!”

Heat blossoms across his face and spreads out all the way down to his fingers. Jack feel his heart in his chest, all too aware of how fast it’s going. He feels Camilla’s eyes on him, eyebrows raised and suspicious.

“I’m glad you called,” he says, smiling brightly into the receiver, “and before I forget, you don’t have to call me ‘Mister Zimmermann.’ Jack is just fine.”

“Alright. Jack. You can call me Eric.”

“Eric,” Jack says, rolling the sound of in his mouth. It feels good.

A soft laugh comes through the receiver and it Jack deigns to make Eric laugh anytime he can. 

“I was just calling because well,” Eric clears his throat, “I just wanted to see if you liked the muffins?” The way that Eric ends that sentence sounds almost nervous through the phone. 

Jack was not expecting that. 

He laughs, leaning against the arm of the chair he was sitting in. He fiddles with the phone cord, biting his lip. He looks up to see Camilla smiling into her magazine. She definitely knows who this is.

“The muffins were amazing, Eric. So good that,” a breath in a breath out, “to thank you for the muffins this morning I want to take you to dinner.”

Silence filled the phone line and weighed heavy on Jack’s shoulders. Eric finally breaks the silence with a whispered: “What are we doing, Jack?”

Jack didn’t know what he was doing, he was walking blind into something that no one taught him how to navigate. He sighed into the phone, picking it up and moving himself into the kitchen.

“I- I just know that I want to see you. Outside of the bakery.”

Eric breathes out an oh and replies, “Alright, Jack.”

Jack smiles and says, “Meet me at Valentino’s tomorrow around 7. It’s about a block from the bakery.”

“Valentino’s at 7.”

Jack hung up the phone, anticipation buzzing under his skin.

From the other room Camilla asked with a knowing look, “Who was that, Jack?”

Jack smiled and simply answered, “A date.”

**June 18, 1952**

It’s five in the morning when Jack wake up. The excitement of the impending date is thrumming under his skin and he couldn’t go back to sleep. He only had thirty more minutes so it would be moot to go back to bed.

He pads into the kitchen barefoot, looking out the window into the quiet street. It was still dark but the sunrise was bathing the room in a soft orange light. He grabs an out of season Christmas mugs from the dry rack and makes the coffee. 

He finds Glen at the kitchen table that morning fixing himself a bowl of cereal.

“Good morning, bud. Isn’t it a little early for school?”

Glen yawns, still not quite awake yet, and replies, “I couldn’t go back to sleep,” he thinks for a moment before saying, “I woke up from a weird dream.”

Jack nodded fixing himself a cup of coffee and then asked, “What did you dream?”

Glen put down his spoon loaded with corn flakes and says, “Well, it started with me in school doing a math test in the middle of the desert but then Mrs. Fletcher ended up fighting a giant spider.”

Jack takes a sip of coffee, trying not smile too hard and replies, “That is a weird dream. I don’t blame you for not being able to go back to sleep.”

Glen looked down at his corn flakes, twirling his spoon in the milk. Jack could see he wanted to say something else.

Finally he asks, “Are you our dad now?”

Jack chokes on the coffee he was sipping, not expecting that question. He knew that Jen and Camilla were going to tell the kids soon. But now? He didn’t know what to say.

Anne is only two so she never really questioned the move but Glen? Glen was nine years old, he knew something was off about the move to the Zimmermann household. Jen and Camilla had only halfway explained hoping they could put off the full explanation until Glen and Anne were older. He knows that Camilla and Jen are close. He knows that Camilla is Jen’s “very special friend.”

Right as Jack was going to say “Go ask your mother” Jen and Camilla came down the stairs.  
He hopes that later they can all sit down and discuss this. As a family.

\--

Jack is waiting outside of Valentino’s when he sees Eric walk up. 

He looks sharp, not like his usual striped apron affair. His hair is slicked back, except an errant curl on his forehead, and his suit is a navy blue with a pinstripe.

Jack is a little breathless when Eric timidly sidles up to him.

He pats his back, wanting nothing more than to take his hand and press a kiss to the back of it.

He leads them to the maitre’d and says, “Reservations are under ‘Zimmermann’ for two.” 

The maitre’d nods and leads them to a secluded part of the restaurant where no prying eyes could see or eavesdroppers could hear.

The maitre’d leaves them with a promise of their server coming to take their order when they are ready.

They look through the menus, Jack looking over to see Eric making the same face he makes when he kneads bread, his brow furrowed and his intense. 

Eric decides on some pesto ravioli when the waiter comes to take their order. Jack doesn’t really register what he’s saying, he thinks he got a chicken dish. He’s just over the moon that Eric is here with him. On a date.

\--

Eric laughs with surprise into his glass of bourbon and Jack’s heart might have exploded just a little.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that you played hockey! Color me impressed, Mister Zimmermann. We should go skating sometime,” Eric sips his bourbon again, looking straight at Jack.

Jack smiles and responds, “We should, the Samwell pond is good place,” the privacy of the suggestion was implied, “But maybe we should wait until winter to think about ice skating.”

Eric chuckles, a sound that Jack wants to bottle and save for a rainy day. To have Eric in his kitchen giggling with Camilla as they chat over coffee. Sitting with Eric on the porch, smoking his pipe and soaking the sounds of the rain relax him.

“I suppose winter is a more appropriate time for ice skating,” he says finishing off his bourbon.

The waiter comes back and asks whether it’ll be together or separate checks. Jack waves at Eric to put his money away.

“It’s on me, Eric, don’t even worry about it.”

Eric hesitates but doesn’t put up a fight. The waiter smiles and thanks them, as they get up to go.

It was cordial and businesslike the way that they carried themselves out of Valentino’s. But Jack’s hands are itching to catch Eric’s hands in his. To twine their fingers and stroke the skin of his knuckles. To be more than cordial.

They don’t touch.

\--

The street is pretty much empty. Eric and Jack are the only ones around, Jack suspects because it’s the middle of the summer and most of the students are home for break. They walk together for a few minutes, enjoying the cool breeze sweeping down the street. Jack looks up to see the last dregs of the sunset and wonders what happens next. 

Eric beats him to the punch.

“So, Professor Zimmermann,” the chirp is inherent in the title by the smirk that Eric gives him. It makes him warm all over.

Jack manages to answer with a witty “Yeah?”

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you are not quite ready to go home yet. Well, if you’re interested,” Eric tails off and brushes the back of hand against Jack’s. It feels white hot.

“I live right above my bakery.”

And Jack couldn’t say no to that.

\--

Eric unlocks the door holding it open for Jack. As if Jack could be more charmed. He looks around the shop, feeling strange to see it so dark. He sees Eric go behind the counter and suddenly he feels awkward. He lifts a chair from the table to sit down and fiddle with a couple of napkins. And then Eric returns with two cups of coffee and a couple of pastries.

He sets the pastries down and Jack realizes that they’re completely alone. The blinds are drawn and the shop is empty.

Before Eric could retract his hand from the plate Jack’s hand finds his. 

Their eyes meet and the look that Eric ignites something in his gut that tells Jack, you’re already in love you dumbass.

He can hear the little gasp that Eric makes out of surprise. He feel the stillness of the room encroach around him as Eric gets closer and closer until all he can see is Eric. He can see the freckles on his face in the low light. His lips are parted slightly, pink and getting closer. 

The kiss is short, just a quick press of lips. His lips were soft against his. It was nice.

Better than nice.

They part but Jack leans forward to catch Eric’s lips again. Eric laughs in surprise and meets him again.

“Wow,” comes out breathy across Jack’s lips. 

Jack leans back into his chair and runs a hand through his hair. He can feel a burning blush crawl up his neck and face. And he can see in the dim light that Eric’s face is flushed bright too. 

Eric breaks the silence with, “Do you want to take this upstairs?”

\--

Jack presses Eric against the door and kisses him with a passion he didn’t know he had. Eric reaches up to card his fingers through his hair and Jack honest to god moans into his mouth. Eric takes this chance to deepen the kiss even further, licking into his mouth and then sucking his bottom lip. And Jack bucks up against Eric almost involuntarily. Jack moves his hands, dragging them along Eric’s sides, making him gasp. 

Jack runs his hands further down to grab at Eric’s ass and he seems to get the idea because he latches his legs around Jack’s middle letting go of the kiss. And Jack carries Eric all the way to the bedroom, both of them giggling and laughing.

He drops Eric on the bed with a huff and a laugh. He’s already reaching for the buttons on Jack’s shirt and in turn Jack is unbuttoning Eric’s pants.

Eric laughs out, “Mister Zimmermann, I haven’t even taken my shoes off yet!”

Jack smirks and kisses him while he removes them gingerly from his feet. 

“You’re a menace,” he says, enjoying the gentle treatment. 

“I’m a menace for you.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Eric says as he unbuttons the rest of Jacks shirt.

Jack shucks his shirt as Eric does away with his pants and they fall in the bed in a heap. He kisses Eric again, but slower. Like they have all the time in the world to get to know each other. 

Eric reaches over to the nightstand to turn on the lamp and now everything is in technicolor. Jack see freckles on his shoulders and it seems like Eric is blushing all over. He leans over to kiss and suck at his neck, careful not to leave obvious hickies. Eric moans arching back into the mattress. Jack can feel how hard Eric is now. 

Jack realizes he’s not quite sure what they’re supposed to do now.

“Eric, I need you to know something.”

They stop, sitting up. Eric reaches his hand up to cup Jack’s face. 

“Yes?”

Jack clears his throat, not quite able to meet Eric’s eyes, “I haven’t ever been with another man. So, I am quite sorry if I’m not up to par?”

Eric huffs a laugh out and kisses him sweetly.

“Don’t you worry about that, sweetheart.”

\--

Jack reaches over the side of the bed where his jacket landed and finds his pipe, matches, and tobacco.

“Is it alright if I smoke?”

Eric nods, snuggling deeper into Jack’s side and inadvertently endearing himself even more. Or maybe it was entirely intentional.

\--

At 4 AM Eric’s alarm clock rings out and Jack wonders if God really does hate him for being gay.

Eric reaches over him to shut it off, groaning. He smacks his hand back onto Jack’s stomach making Jack chuckle.

“Ugh, I have to open the bakery soon,” implying it was time for Jack to leave. But before he does, he needs to make sure that Eric knows he’s serious about this. About Eric. Hopefully Eric felt the same. He really really hopes.

Jack sat up, gathering his shirt up off the ground figuring out what he should say. But Eric beats him to the punch.

“Well. This was really great! I had a lot of fun and you’re really great Jack. But. Hm. I don’t expect you to want to continue this, alright?” his voice only shakes a little but it shakes Jack to his core. He turns around to see Eric pacing.

“Eric--”

“It’s just that, I know it’s dangerous and I don’t want you to risk everything for this,” gesturing between them.

“Wait a sec--”

“I just want you to be happy and I don’t--”

Jack doesn’t want to hear it anymore, gets up in the middle of what Eric is saying and reaches for his hand and kisses him. Eric let Jack gather him against his chest, heart beating wildly. He hears Eric sigh wetly and feels him grasp at his bare back.

He plants his hands on top of Eric’s shoulder, grounding himself.

“I am at my most happy when I am with you. And really? Happy doesn’t even cover all the feelings I have for you.” 

A breath to steel himself.

“I want you. In all the ways that a person could want another.”

Jack reaches for Eric’s hand. He looks at his big brown eyes, tears threatening to spill. He hopes it’s happy tears. Jack kisses his fingers

“I want you. I want to get to know you and _know_ you,” Jack brings Eric’s palm up to his lips, kissing it. He whispers, almost unintelligible, “I want you.”

Eric buries his face into Jack’s chest and holds him closer.


	4. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so its been a hectic time lol its been a lot. I feel like its a bit shorter but i felt it ended where it should.

**June 19th, 1952**

“As a reminder: please do the assigned readings and your short answers. We will go over them tomorrow to prepare for the test. Dismissed!” 

Students filed out as Professor Knight was gathering up the various papers and books back into his well loved briefcase. He looks up and spies Jack in the very back of the lecture hall and shouts loud enough to startle the students who haven’t left yet.

Jack waves as he gets up, smile stretching across his face.

“Hey Jackie-boy, long time no see!” Knight shakes his hand firmly with both hands, “I hear Camilla is pregnant!” a slap on the shoulder, ”Congrats!”

Jack blushes, rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah, we’re really excited. Jen and Camilla are already picking out things for the baby.”

Knight nods in understanding, “When Larissa was pregnant, she never wanted me to go because, and I quote,” he wags his fingers in air quotes, “‘You have fucking awful taste’.” 

Jack laughs knowing exactly what Knight’s tastes are like. If a beatnik and a paisley curtain had a child. But somehow, Knight always made it work.

Knight slaps his arm again and says, “Yeah, laugh it up, it’s not like I know that Camilla buys all your clothes.”

Jack snorts in surprise which makes Knight laugh. At this point all the students have gone and it’s just them, giggling and holding on to each other.

“Knight, it’s been too long,” Jack wipes the tears away from laughing so hard.

“Jack, you can call me Shitty. Stop with this ‘Knight’ stuff. You’ve known me for what? Two years now?” Shitty counts on his fingers, “Two fuckin years! Holy shit, man.”

“Right. Sorry, it’s a habit,” as Jack smoothes his suit, “and yes. Two years of dealing with your reefer smell.” 

And with they devolve into a laughing fit.

It’s times like this that Jack wants to tell Shitty. To tell him that Camilla is less his wife and more his best friend. That they both want (love) different people and that Jack hasn’t been so happy in ages.

Even if it’s only been one night with Eric, the feelings that have been building inside are full to bursting. 

But he holds his happiness close to his heart where he’s safe. Where everyone he loves is safe.

 

**June 21th, 1952**

Jack wakes up to the smell of bacon and coffee wafting up the stairs and hears Anne and Glen bickering. He lies in bed for a few more minutes breathing in deep and wondering how he got here. How he got so lucky. 

It was rare on a Saturday that Jack slept this late, usually he was up by 5am most days, even on the weekend he would take time to jog a bit before doing anything else. But today, he just wants to float on this feeling of warmth.

He swings his legs over the side of the bed, tucking his feet into some slippers and sliding his glasses on. He looks over at his desk, an organized mess that only he can parse through. He’ll grade tonight and tomorrow, today he wanted to be with his family.

And maybe even introduce Eric to his family.

It might be a little bit early for that, but Eric needed to know what he was getting into. That he was still technically married. That he shared a house with her lover and her lover’s children.

Maybe he’ll postpone the introductions to another day. Camilla always said he was 110% in everything that he did.

And he’s lucky that they were able to get a four bedroom four bath house. 

He yawns wide and loud, to alert himself to the rest of the house. When he does Anne and Glen run up to him to get some hugs and kisses, still in their own pajamas. They start playing hide and seek under his green striped robe when Camilla walks out. 

She has on her own pink robe tied above her stomach, which accentuates her baby bump. Jack peeks into the kitchen and even Jen is in her simple baby blue pajamas. She looks up from the bacon and waves the spatula in a good morning.

Comfort seems to be the idea today and Jack is fine with that.

Camilla looks confused looking for Anne and Glen, “Well, well, well, where have the little ones gone? Jack have you seen them?” with a playful twinkle in her eye. 

Catching on, he shrugs and replies, “Hmm no? I haven’t seen them at all,” and finger tapping his chin, thinking, “Did you check under their bed?”

Giggles erupt from under his robe where their hugging his legs. 

“Where are those giggles coming from I wonder?” Camilla says covering her mouth trying to keep down her own laughter.

Glen and Anne burst forth from their hiding spot shouting, “We’re right here!!”

Jen comes out of the kitchen, bacon on a plate and hand on her hip, “Glen, Anne, come get your breakfast.”

With that, they rush to the breakfast table which is set with a stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, coffee, and bacon. Glen and Anne dig in while Camilla whispers something to Jen. She nods and looks Jack in the eye and gestures for him to go out on to backyard patio.

Camilla stays inside with Glen and Anne as they walk out. The grass is covered in morning dew still. 

He looks at Jen, and asks, “What’s going on?”

She looks out toward the backyard where the kids’ swingset is. It was a gift from him and Camilla to welcome them into their new home. The swings are moving gently in the breeze and the bright green slide shines brightly in the rising sun. 

Jen turns back to Jack, letting the moment urge her on, “Camilla and I think it’s time to tell the children.”

Jack breathes out an ‘oh’ as it all falls into place. The big family breakfast, the comfy pajamas. To try and make the announcement as painless and as comfortable as possible for everyone involved.

Jack nods, knowing that however the conversation goes that it’s Camilla’s and Jen’s conversation to have.

“I’ve got your back. Both of you.”

Jen hugs him tight and quick.

\--

Anne was the first to break the silence with, “So now we have two mommies?” 

Jen looks at Camilla surprised, and Camilla responds with, “If your mommy wants me to, you can have two mommies.”

Anne nods satisfied with her answer, not really noticing the raging blush on Jen’s cheeks. 

Glen looks at Jack and looks back at Jen as her asks, “So what about Dad? And Jack? Does Dad,” he trails off, tears forming in his eyes, “does Dad still love us?”

Jen leans forward to offer her hands to Glen. He takes them.

“Glen, it’s not yours or Anne’s fault that Dad and I got a divorce. But that doesn’t change how much your dad or I love you both. As for Jack,” Jen looked a bit lost and looks at Jack for help.

Picking up on her distress, “I’m here for you, Glen and Anne. If you ever need anything, I’m here.”

Glen wipes his hands across his eyes to try and combat the tears and in a little voice he says, “Okay.”

Jen, Camilla, and Jack all move to hug the little ones tight.

Soon, Jack realizes, that he has to tell Eric about his family if he wants to move forward. And Shitty.


End file.
